How Good Managers Accidentally Become Bad Bosses and What to Do About It

Every manager likes to think they’re a good boss. But even the most well-intentioned leaders can develop habits that harm their teams, often without realizing it. Author and corporate changemaker Mita Mallick reminds us that bad bosses aren’t born; they’re made. And that means they can be unmade too.

Mita shared with me how common missteps like toxic positivity, insecurity, and micromanagement take shape and how managers can replace them with healthier, more empowering practices.

Bad Bosses Are Made And Can Be Unmade

Mita explains that we become a product of our circumstances, both at home and at work. Pressures from deadlines, demanding executives, or personal struggles can trigger unhelpful leadership behaviors. But the good news is that leadership isn’t fixed. It’s deeply human and shaped by context.

Mita admits she’s been both a bad boss and a great one. It depends on what’s happening in your life and the greater context. The key difference is self-awareness. Recognizing when stress, grief, or insecurity influences how you show up is what keeps you from crossing the line from firm to fearsome.

The Perils of Toxic Positivity

One of the most surprising archetypes of a bad boss that Mita notes is the Cheerleader, a boss who uses relentless optimism to avoid facing problems. She recalls a manager who refused to acknowledge a supply chain issue that halted production but still insisted on adding a million dollars to the forecast. The team knew it was impossible, yet they were expected to meet it. When the goal wasn’t reached, they were punished.

Toxic positivity often looks like enthusiasm, but it denies reality. Optimism is valuable, but credibility is priceless. The best leaders acknowledge hard truths while still inspiring hope. Real encouragement sounds like, “This is tough, but I believe we can find a solution together.”

When Pressure Turns to Control

Mita notes that many bad boss behaviors stem from a desire for control. When markets are volatile or results are slipping, leaders often tighten their grip to regain stability. 

It’s a relatable impulse. After all, leaders are responsible for outcomes. But trying to manage uncertainty by micromanaging people only creates more tension. Healthy leadership balances structure with trust. Mita urges us to control our schedule, our goals, and our energy, but not our team.

Insecurity and the Fear Factor

Another force behind toxic leadership is insecurity. Mita describes a former boss she nicknamed Medusa, who ruled through intimidation, yelling, humiliating employees, and even throwing objects. At the time, Mita was shocked. Years later, she realized that Medusa’s cruelty came from fear and self-doubt.

Insecurity makes people create distance through fear, Mita explains. For a while, that fear made her perform well out of self-preservation. But eventually, the exhaustion of working in constant anxiety led to disengagement.

It’s a painful but important reminder: leading through fear may produce short-term compliance, but it destroys long-term commitment. Confidence doesn’t come from perfection, it comes from humility, curiosity, and care.

Celebrate When Someone Speaks Up

Many workplaces still tolerate destructive behavior. Mita recalls the time she told HR she didn’t want to work for a notoriously toxic leader. Instead of being supported, she was labeled a “troublemaker.” 

Speaking up isn’t about stirring trouble; it’s about caring enough to want things to improve. Yet many organizations still fail to reward that courage.

For managers, Mita’s takeaway is simple: when someone raises a concern, listen. Don’t dismiss, debate, or defend. You don’t need to have a response in the moment. Say thank you, let them know you’ll think about it, and then actually circle back. That follow-up, whether or not you take action, builds trust and shows maturity.

Build Self-Awareness Through Reflection

One of the most practical tools Mita recommends is journaling. Writing down what happened in a meeting, what you said, and how others reacted helps you notice patterns over time. She discovered this after the sudden death of her father. While she was grieving, she showed up as a terrible boss. Journaling helped her see how her pain translated into micromanagement, frustration, and disengagement.

Reflection turns experience into insight. It doesn’t have to be a long process, just a few notes about what went well and what didn’t. Over time, that awareness helps leaders separate emotion from reaction.

You can also pay attention to how your team responds to you. Do people avoid eye contact, hesitate to speak, or seem disengaged in meetings? Nonverbal cues often reveal what they’re too afraid to say.

Ask for Coaching Instead of Feedback

Feedback is essential but can be intimidating, especially when it flows upward. Mita suggests reframing it as coaching. Before one-on-one meetings, she emails team members:

“I’d love your coaching on how I can delegate faster and coach better through mistakes rather than redoing work.”

This simple shift changes everything. It gives employees time to prepare and signals that their perspective is valued. It also models vulnerability, which encourages honesty. When you do receive coaching, respond with gratitude, take time to reflect, and close the loop by sharing what you’ve learned or plan to adjust.

Micromanagement Squeezes the Joy Out of Work

Of all the bad boss behaviors, micromanagement may be the most common. Mita calls this boss The Chopper, someone who redoes their team’s work and monitors every task. “What’s the point of doing my best?” one colleague told her. “He’s just going to redo it anyway.”

Micromanagement kills motivation. It tells people you don’t trust them. Mita admits this was one of her own struggles, especially after being promoted from individual contributor to leader. 

Mita recommends we start breaking the habit with small shifts. Don’t reply to emails your team can handle. Don’t rewrite their work; take time to review it together. Coaching takes more time upfront, but it builds competence and confidence that multiply over time. 

Leadership Is a Practice, Not a Personality

Every manager will, at some point, slip into “bad boss” behavior. What defines great leadership isn’t perfection; it’s self-awareness and the courage to change.

If we take the time to step back, most of us will know when we’re behaving badly. The challenge is to pause, reflect, and course-correct before damage spreads.

Good leadership isn’t about always getting it right. It’s about continuously learning how to show up better for yourself, your team, and the culture you’re creating every day.

Listen to the entire episode HERE to learn more about turning bad boss habits into better leadership.

Keep up with Mita Mallick

- Follow Mita on LinkedIn here

- Check out her book here

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