How Managers Can Master the Art of Authentic Influence

Many managers equate influence with power, the ability to make decisions, delegate, or direct others. But real influence isn’t about hierarchy or authority. It’s about connection, clarity, and how effectively you inspire others to move with you toward a shared goal.

As Tami Reiss, CEO of Leader Within and an expert on influence-driven leadership, puts it, when you rely on authority, people comply. When you rely on authentic influence, they commit.

So, how can managers learn to influence effectively, not through power, but through purpose?

Rethinking What Influence Really Means

Imagine two managers trying to motivate their teams. One says, “We need to do this now; it’s a priority.” The other says, “Here’s why this matters and how it will make our customer experience easier and more meaningful.”

The task might be the same, but the impact is completely different.

Tami reminds us that authority can push people into action, but influence draws them in willingly. It transforms “have to” into “want to.” When people feel connected to the purpose behind their work, they’re more engaged, creative, and committed to excellence.

A Manager’s Roadmap to Authentic Influence

To help leaders master influence as a skill, Tami developed the MAP Framework, a practical, three-step process that makes influence tangible: Manifest, Assess, and Promote.

1. Manifest: Define What You’re Aiming For

You can’t influence others if you’re unclear about where you’re going. “Manifesting” isn’t about magical thinking; it’s about painting a clear, vivid picture of success.

What does the future look like if your idea works? How does it make things better for your team, customers, or organization?

Too often, managers get stuck fighting for a thing (a new system, a different process, or an added approval step) without explaining the why behind it. Tami encourages leaders to focus on the downstream impact: how this change improves efficiency, reduces frustration, or creates new opportunities.

When people can see the purpose and the payoff, they’re far more likely to get on board.

2. Assess: Understand What Drives the People Around You

Tami notes that every person you manage has their own motivations, values, and goals. If you want to influence effectively, you need to know what those are.

This is where curiosity becomes a leadership superpower. Ask thoughtful questions like

• “What part of this project excites you most?”

• “What would success look like for you?”

• “What challenges are you running into?”

Getting to know your team on a deeper level helps you uncover what really matters to them and shows that you value their perspective.

It also builds trust. Influence is much easier when people feel seen and respected. Tami describes this as “cultivating connection.” When you invest time in understanding your colleagues’ worldviews, you can speak directly to their interests.

3. Promote: Find the Overlap

The final step is where influence takes root. Once you understand both your own goals and others’ motivations, you can find the common ground that overlaps where your visions align.

Tami suggests visualizing it as a Venn diagram. Your vision on one side, theirs on the other. The overlap is your sweet spot for influence. When you frame your ideas around their priorities, your message lands differently. It’s no longer “help me with this project,” but “this project helps you achieve what you care about.”

That shift from self-interest to shared interest is what turns resistance into buy-in.

Small Shifts Create Big Impact

Sometimes, authentic influence begins with something as simple as changing your words.

Tami shares a small but powerful communication tweak: replace “Can you…” with “Would you…”

“Can you” questions test someone’s ability. “Would you” questions invite choice. That subtle shift transforms an instruction into a collaboration, one that respects the other person’s autonomy and agency.

For managers, this kind of language helps build mutual respect and reduces defensiveness. It reminds people that they have ownership, not just obligation.

You Don’t Need to Be the Messenger

Here’s an often-overlooked truth: sometimes, you’re not the best messenger for your own idea.

Managers naturally carry authority, which can make people agree out of obligation rather than enthusiasm. But if a respected peer presents the same idea to the group, it might resonate more deeply.

Tami encourages leaders to share influence. Let your team members pitch ideas, lead meetings, and champion initiatives. This not only makes the message more effective but also helps your people grow their own leadership capacity. Influence spreads fastest when it’s distributed.

Build Social Capital to Increase Influence

Influence doesn’t appear out of thin air; it’s built through consistent, generous actions over time.

Tami calls this “social capital”: the trust, respect, and goodwill that accumulate when you give freely of your time and expertise. Offer help without expectation. Connect people to each other. Be curious about others’ work.

When you’ve built that kind of credibility, people listen. Not because they have to, but because they want to.

Overcome Resistance to Change

Tami shares a simple equation: the success of any initiative equals the quality of the idea multiplied by the amount of buy-in. Even the best idea fails without buy-in. But a decent idea with strong support can thrive. As a manager, your role is to balance both sides of that equation. It’s not just about being right; it’s about bringing people along with you.

If you’ve ever tried to introduce a new process, you know: change triggers resistance. It’s human nature.

Tami advises not to fight it, but to reframe it. Help people see what’s waiting on the other side of the change. Instead of focusing on what they might lose, emphasize what they’ll gain: smoother workflows, fewer frustrations, or more time for meaningful work.

In other words, sell the vision, not the disruption.

Lead with Influence, Not Control

Authentic influence doesn’t rely on titles, power, or volume. It comes from empathy, curiosity, and strategic communication.

When managers master this skill, they create workplaces where people feel valued and motivated, where collaboration replaces compliance, and everyone contributes to shared success. 

And when people feel good about the work, that’s when managers stop managing and start truly leading.

Listen to the entire episode HERE to learn more about leading with influence.

Keep up with Tami Reiss

- Visit Tami’s website here

- Follow Tami on LinkedIn here 

- Follow Tami on Instagram here

- Subscribe to her Leader Within newsletter here

- Watch Tami’s YouTube channel here

- View her speaker reel playlist here: get a peek into the energy she brings to audiences.

- Download the free M.A.P. Canvas here

- Read her blog here

- Pre-order her upcoming book, What Do Product Managers Do? A Primer for Aspiring PMs of All Ages here

- Explore her custom GPT, The Leader Within: Tami from Miami, here

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