How Emotional Intelligence Makes You a Better Manager

Artificial intelligence is reshaping work at lightning speed, organizations are reorganizing constantly, and teams are running on thinner margins of time and energy. It’s no surprise that burnout is rising and stress feels like part of the job description.

In the middle of all this disruption, one skill matters more than ever, and it has nothing to do with mastering the latest tool or platform. The managers who succeed today are the ones who can navigate emotions: their own, their team’s, and the collective waves that come with constant change. That skill is emotional intelligence.

Jamelle Lindo, an executive coach and international keynote speaker, has seen firsthand what happens when leaders either lean into emotional intelligence or ignore it. He shared his message with me: EQ is not a nice extra; it’s a survival skill. AI may handle the technical and analytical tasks, but only humans can connect, empathize, and guide one another through the uncertainty of work today.

Managers are being asked to do more than manage tasks; they are being asked to hold their teams steady in turbulent times. That requires the ability to notice and regulate emotions, to communicate with clarity, and to build trust. These are not “soft” skills. They are what keep teams engaged, resilient, and willing to follow your lead.

Moving Beyond the “Soft Skills” Myth

Too often, emotional intelligence gets brushed off as being about niceness or positivity. Jamelle pushes back strongly against that idea. While kindness matters, EQ is about much more: it is the capacity to be smart with emotions, both our own and others’.

This shows up in everyday leadership moments. It’s there when you catch yourself about to snap in frustration and choose instead to reset. It’s there when you recognize your team’s anxiety about a new change and acknowledge it instead of pushing blindly ahead. It’s there when you sit across from someone who isn’t meeting expectations and find the balance of honesty and respect. Emotional intelligence isn’t fluff. It is practical, everyday leadership in action.

Assertiveness: The Emotional Intelligence Skill Managers Overlook

According to Jamelle, assertiveness is one of the most underrated EQ skills. Many people assume emotional intelligence is about empathy alone, yet leadership often requires candor. Assertiveness means saying what needs to be said, clearly and directly, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Consider an employee who is consistently late. Ignoring it may feel easier in the short term, but it undermines accountability and team morale. Assertiveness means addressing the issue directly, naming the behavior, and explaining its impact. 

To do this well, preparation helps. Jamell explains that when you know what you want to say and why it matters, you’re less likely to soften the message until it loses clarity. Assertiveness, in this sense, is not about creating conflict, but rather creating conditions where people can grow and the team can thrive.

How Managers Can Receive Feedback Without Defensiveness

If giving feedback is difficult, receiving it can be even harder. Jamelle notes that many leaders unconsciously equate their performance with their identity. When their work is critiqued, they feel personally judged. This often leads to defensiveness or withdrawal.

Emotional intelligence equips leaders to change that pattern. Instead of personalizing feedback, they can reframe it as information about a specific behavior or outcome. Jamelle suggests two grounding questions: What about this is true? And, how can I use this to become a better version of myself? These questions shift the focus from self-blame to growth.

Even a small practice, like pausing to say, “Thank you; can I have a moment to process?” can create space to manage emotions before responding. Leaders who model this openness not only grow themselves but also set a tone that makes feedback safer for everyone on their team.

Self-Awareness: The Foundation of Leadership Growth

Self-awareness underpins every aspect of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to see ourselves clearly, to notice our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors and to understand how they affect others. Yet, Jamelle points to research that shows most people overestimate their self-awareness, missing the subtle but powerful ways their emotions spill into their leadership.

For managers, this might look like noticing when frustration from one meeting is shaping your tone in the next or recognizing that your own anxiety about a deadline is causing you to micromanage. Without self-awareness, these patterns erode trust. With it, you gain the ability to pause, recalibrate, and choose how you want to show up. That choice is what makes the difference between reactive and intentional leadership.

Resilience: Thriving Under Pressure as a Manager

Resilience is another essential EQ skill in today’s workplace. Pressure is not going away; if anything, it is increasing. Resilient leaders are not immune to stress, they simply manage it differently. They acknowledge the difficulty of the moment, but they don’t let it consume them. They maintain perspective, keep priorities clear, and model calmness even under pressure.

This steadiness matters more than leaders often realize. Jamelle points out that teams look to managers as emotional barometers. When a leader stays grounded, the team feels safer and more capable of handling challenges. In this way, resilience becomes contagious, spreading stability and confidence throughout the group.

Leading with Emotional Intelligence in the Age of AI

Emotional intelligence is not optional for managers. It is what makes leadership work. It shapes how you handle feedback, how you navigate stress, how you hold tough conversations, and how you build trust with your team.

In a world where AI and automation are taking on more of the technical load, the human side of leadership is what sets managers apart. Technology may be able to do many things, but it cannot replace the uniquely human ability to lead with empathy, courage, and awareness. The managers who cultivate emotional intelligence will be the ones whose teams not only survive disruption but thrive because of it.

Listen to the entire episode HERE to learn more about the power of emotional intelligence in leadership.

Keep up with Jamelle

- Follow Jamelle on LinkedIn here

- learn more on his Website here

- Watch his speaker reel on Vimeo here

Guest bonus: 10% off All Jamelle's Services

1. Emotional Intelligence Assessments & Debriefs

We use scientifically validated EQ assessment reports (such as the EQ-i 2.0®) to identify individual or team emotional intelligence strengths and gaps. The debrief process (60-90 minute virtual debrief session) translates the results of the EQ report into practical, real-world insights and action steps for improved leadership and workplace effectiveness.

2. Executive & Leadership Coaching

Our one-on-one coaching supports leaders in building emotional intelligence skills that drive influence, decision-making, and resilience. Each engagement is customized using our Emotional Empowerment Process™ to ensure measurable behavior change.

4. Keynote Speaking & Thought Leadership

I deliver inspiring, science-based keynotes on emotional intelligence, emotional empowerment, and leadership in the age of AI. Each session is designed to spark awareness and motivate audiences to unlock their full potential.

5. Workshops & Training Programs

Our experiential workshops help participants develop practical EQ skills in areas such as self-awareness, empathy, and conflict resolution. Programs are designed for all organizational levels and are fully customizable to strategic priorities.

👉 To get this guest bonus and many other member benefits, become a member of The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community: https://themodernmanager.com/more 

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The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive and great work gets done.

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