The Hidden Elements of a Toxic Culture and How to Overcome Them

Toxic workplaces don’t usually announce themselves.

Instead, they show up in subtle ways, such as silence in meetings, unchecked behaviors, or a sense that people can’t fully contribute. And often, these environments aren’t created intentionally. They’re the result of everyday habits that go unexamined.

In a recent conversation with Aoife O’Brien, founder of Happier at Work, we explored how managers can shift from simply avoiding toxicity to actively creating teams where people can thrive. At the core of that shift are three things: psychological safety, understanding what drives people, and leveraging strengths effectively.

Toxic Culture Is Often Hidden

Not all toxic workplaces look the same.

Some are overtly marked by broken trust, poor leadership, or high turnover. Others are harder to spot, like environments where certain voices dominate or where people feel excluded from opportunities.

One particularly tricky version is what Aoife calls the “velvet glove.” From the outside, everything looks successful. But internally, the way work gets done is unsustainable and erodes well-being.

Another common dynamic is the “in-group vs. out-group,” where access to influence, opportunities or information is uneven. Over time, this creates disengagement and tension.

Aoife explains that what allows these cultures to persist is simple: behaviors aren’t addressed. When disrespect, dishonesty, or poor communication go unchecked, they become normalized.

Psychological Safety Comes First

If there’s one place to start, it’s psychological safety.

When people feel safe, they speak up. They challenge ideas, ask questions, and share concerns. Without that safety, even seemingly high-performing teams hold back.

One of the easiest ways to assess this, say Aoife, is by observing your team. Are people offering different perspectives? Or are they staying quiet and going along with everything?

Silence is often a red flag.

As a manager, it’s not just about inviting input; it’s about how you respond. If people feel dismissed or penalized for speaking up, they’ll stop doing it.

What Actually Drives People

Another dimension to a healthy workplace culture is understanding what motivates your team.

Aoife highlights three core needs:

• Autonomy – having control over how work gets done

• Relatedness – feeling connected to others and the bigger picture

• Competence – feeling capable and effective

  
  

When these needs are met, people thrive. When they’re not, frustration shows up.

Aoife points out that the challenge is that these needs look different for everyone. One person may want more independence, while another needs more guidance. The key is paying attention to what people say and how they behave so that you can meet them where they’re at.

Frustration is often a clue that something important is missing.

Relationships Matter Now More Than Ever

Investing in relationship building is crucial for creating a thriving work environment, says Aoife. When this fundamental need for connection is unmet, employees may feel frustrated or even leave the organization, even if they enjoy their job and their boss. 

In remote or hybrid working environments, the need for connection is particularly strong. Aoife underscores that we no longer have the benefit of organic relationships because of the remote and hybrid nature of teamwork. This means it’s essential for leaders to invent new ways for colleagues to find connections that feel comfortable and allow them to connect on a deeper level.

The lack of relationship strength can also impact how we view other people. When we don’t know each other personally, we’re more likely to view them negatively.

Look Beneath the Behavior

It’s easy to label people according to their behaviors, like calling someone a micromanager. But Aoife says we’re better off turning it into a question: what's driving that behavior?

Often, it comes from underlying needs like wanting control, clarity, or reassurance. When you understand that, you can respond more effectively instead of reacting.

This shift from judgment to curiosity can dramatically improve how you handle tension and conflict.

Moving beyond a culture marked by subtle toxicity and unchecked behaviors requires managers to be intentional about the habits they foster. The path to creating a workplace where people thrive is rooted in the core practices of psychological safety, understanding and meeting individual needs for autonomy, relatedness, and competence.

By shifting from reacting to surface-level behaviors to being curious about the underlying needs, and actively investing in relationships, managers can transform their teams from merely avoiding toxicity to actively building a foundation for sustainable engagement and high performance.

Listen to the entire episode HERE to learn more about building a healthy workplace culture.

Keep up with Aoife O’Brien 

- Connect with Aoife on LinkedIn here

- Follow Happier at Work on LinkedIn here

- Follow on Instagram here

- Subscribe on YouTube here

- Follow on TikTok here

Guest Bonus: 10% Off Thriving Talent Book

In Thriving Talent, Aoife O’Brien challenges the idea that engagement and performance are trade-offs. Instead, she shows leaders how to create environments where people feel psychologically safe, aligned to meaningful work, and able to use their strengths every day. 

Blending research with practical tools, the book introduces a clear framework for building cultures that drive performance, engagement, and retention without relying on perks or pressure.

Get this guest bonus and many other member benefits when you join The Modern Manager Podcast+ Community.

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The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast for rockstar managers who want to create a working environment where people thrive, and great work gets done.

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